Apologies to those that don’t follow the shows I do, but I was thinking about the multitude of TV shows that I watch and I thought it would be pretty funny and cool to pair up who I think represents a certain character best on the Red Sox. I’m not limiting this to one show (but am limiting it to shows currently on the air), so… let’s check out my comparisons. In the comments, leave your own!
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SHOW: 24 PERSON: JACK BAUER RED SOX: JOSH BECKETT |
How is Josh Beckett NOT Jack Bauer? He wasted his life away in a hot climate in the south (Beckett Florida, Bauer Los Angeles), losing everyone that ever mattered to him. Then they moved (Beckett to Boston, Bauer to Africa and now Washington D.C.). Bauer and Beckett are a no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners people who will, at the end of the day, get the job done. |
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SHOW: LOST PERSON: JACK SHEPHARD RED SOX: JOSH BARD |
Shephard and Bard both came to new locations (The Island, Boston) and tried to forge a new living, but quickly found that evil lurked. Shephard had to deal with The Others, while Bard had the big bad knuckleball. They finally escaped, but both people couldn’t resist the siren call of their former home. |
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SHOW: The Office PERSON: DWIGHT SCHRUTE RED SOX: JONATHAN PAPELBON |
Dwight has a job that’s pretty small in stature while Papelbon has a pretty big job… but they’re both invaluable in the role they serve. Oh, and both of them are hilariously funny and cocky as all hell. |
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SHOW: Family Guy PERSON: STEWIE GRIFFIN RED SOX: DUSTIN PEDROIA |
Both Pedroia and Stewie are very short and are babies (Pedroia in the sense that he’s turning 3 in major league service time)… it doesn’t stop both of them from trying to take over the world, though. (What else can Pedroia possibly win? Hmm… maybe he’s already taken over the world.) There’s that whole funny thing, too. |
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SHOW: Rescue Me PERSON: CHIEF JERRY REILLY RED SOX: JASON VARITEK |
Chief Reilly and Jason Varitek were both aging, holding onto jobs that they maybe can’t quite do efficiently anymore. Both have their marital issues, and for those who know what happened to Reilly, Varitek may mirror his quick exit. (Hey, not all comparisons are roses.) |
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SHOW: Heroes PERSON: PETER PETRELLI RED SOX: CLAY BUCHHOLZ |
Poor Peter, poor Clay. All they want to do is save the world. Peter had immense expectations heaped upon him after doing just that in season one, as did Buchholz after throwing the no-hitter. Both are still trying to find their way. |
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SHOW: Law and Order: SVU PERSON: ELLIOT STABLER RED SOX: KEVIN YOUKILIS |
Stabler and Youkilis are both very dedicated to their craft. They’ve caught a lot of flak from people for their attitude and investment in the job. They come across as mean S.O.B.’s, but that’s what makes them so good. |
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SHOW: Fringe PERSON: WALTER BISHOP RED SOX: DAISUKE MATSUZAKA |
Both of them are a little screwy in the head… of course, Bishop’s was for being locked away in a psychiatric facility. Who knows what goes through Dice-K’s mind that causes him to give up so many walks. And yet: both of them are the key to the whole thing. |
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SHOW: My Name is Earl PERSON: EARL HICKEY RED SOX: ROCCO BALDELLI |
Earl has had a checkered past; so has Rocco (injuries). Earl now is working off a list, hoping that by healing those he has hurt, karma will smile on him. Rocco’s doing just the same, coming back home to his local roots, hoping karma smiles on him. |
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SHOW: Curb Your Enthusiasm PERSON: LARRY DAVID RED SOX: J.D. DREW |
Larry David keeps finding himself in crazy and weird situations. That’s a good way to describe Drew’s (a) injury history and (b) ability to come roaring back, as evidenced by the $14-million grand slam. |
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SHOW: Dexter PERSON: DEXTER MORGAN RED SOX: DAVID ORTIZ |
Both of them put on a great facade. They’re friendly, great guys who you would love to spend time with. Until they kill you. Dexter with a knife, Ortiz with a game-winning home run. |
Ignoring for a second the fact that I watch way too many TV shows, hope some (or all) of these comparisons brought a chuckle to you guys. Leave your own comparisons in the comments!
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I remember a few years ago when Pedroia, too, abandoned his plans for world domination and ran off with a trick named Jim…
…we’re deep into February, aren’t we?
Yeah. I was thinking the very same thing.
Damn this slow spring training….
I guess I’m not so current on my TV viewing; I don’t watch any of those shows, so I can’t comment on Evan’s comparisons, but I do have one of my own:
It’s not a current show, of course, but I’ve always thought J.D. Drew bore a resemblance to Mr. Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation: Both hope to someday experience human emotions, and both have switches in their backs that turn them “off.”
No one was entertained by this? Tch, guess my humor needs woork. Nice comp, TD.
I thought this was pretty good. Tim Wakefield kind of reminds me of Stanley Hudson from the Office. He sits in the corner, not saying much, and doesn’t really get involved in the shenanigans that go on with the younger players, but he always seems to get the job done
No offense, but it kind of takes away from the professionalism of the site.
An ex Red Sox, Manny Ramirez. Kramer or Mr Magoo. Take your pick.
Agreed, how dare you sully an interblog with some levity when literally nothing else is happening in the world of baseball.
Did you hear that Alex Rodriguez was caught cheating? We should talk about how people are calling him a-roid and how funny that is.
Francona could do Mr. Magoo…especially since he has to wear glasses now.
Here’s my Red Sox Gilligan’s Island:
Gilligan — Dustin Pedroia (lil buddy)
The Skipper too –Papi Ortiz
The Millionaire — Mr. Henry
and his wife — Kotsay (or his wife)
the movie star — Dice K
the professor — Wakefield
and mary ann — Ellsbury
Manny could have been so many people. Peter Griffin, Walter Bishop, Ben from LOST, Michael Scott, pre-karma Earl Hickey…
Suck up much? Seriously, I didn’t know it had to be news to write about something interesting and informative. But hey, knock yourself out. All I’m saying is I come to FB because of the content, not seeing players I care about being compared to random TV characters. Besides which, I didn’t laugh once. Whatever.
We’re in the middle of February, every reasonable topic has been beaten to death. I love fbotl, but sometimes you just run out of stuff to talk about.
What other topics do you deem worthy of investigation?
is it just me or Simon Baker (the mentalist) looks a lot like Drew?
Are f’ing you serious?
Someone needs to chill out a bit. FB is a blog and a damn good one. I’ll admit this isn’t the most highly intellectual (or even entertaining) topic in the world, but what else are we supposed to discuss again? We could beat the SS battle to death or talk about how fewer people are in Ft. Myers this year or gossip about who’s not in shape or rehash which of the RS-TB-NYY trio will end up in first again, but we’ve hit all of these topics too many times.
I will admit that this topic is silly, pedantic, and not really my thing but FB is a blog and the great thing is you can just ignore this post if you want to instead of getting snippy about it.
Ouch, I think I’ll crawl back under my rock…
Sry, that was me.
No worries Evan! I understand that there’s not much to talk about right now. Plus you have pretty good taste in TV shows too.