I have a confession to make. Every time Curly Haired Boyfriend writes and article, I have to read it. I know that I shouldn’t, but I do it anyway. It’s a sick compulsion, and I’m probably going to have to go to blogger rehab to cut my addiction. I’ve tried retracing the root cause of my weakness, but I’ve yet to pinpoint its origin. The only thing I can come up with is that part of me really enjoys the torture and rage his articles conjure up inside me. Honestly, it makes sense. It would explain how I’ve managed to get through the entire first season of Jersey Shore without wanting to pull every follicle of hair out of my skull… Um…yeah…I probably shouldn’t have shared that information as I’ve confessed too much as it is.
Yesterday, he released his latest “masterpiece” in the Boston Globe on the mysterious disappearance of the Red Sox offense. Considering they’ve scored only 20 runs over the last seven games, it seems like a pretty reasonable topic for an article, right? Right. As always, it starts out well enough. The first two sentences are fine, then it takes a unfortunate and unnecessary turn. Someone has to keep him honest, so I’m going to pull out pieces of his article, and take it apart, Fire Joe Morgan style.
Four losses in five games. Nine hits and three runs in 27 innings over two days at home against the Rays. David Ortiz is wearing a ski boot on his right foot and Carl Crawford is harder to find than Albert Haynesworth.
Yes, the Red Sox have lost four of five games. Yes, they scored only three runs on nine hits in three games against the Rays. Yes, David Ortiz’s foot is in a boot. All of this is reasonable and factually correct. Then, he goes and crazily compares friendly and upbeat Carl Crawford to the cantankerous and notoriously selfish Albert Haynesworth. I can totally see the resemblance. Both physically and statistically.
Is this a slump? Is it time to panic here in the hardball hub of the universe? Does anybody really care about finishing in first place anymore?
No, CHB. You’re right. No one cares about finishing in first place. Why would anyone want to be a division champion, when the allure of the “Wild Card” sounds so much exciting? Seems pretty obvious to me.
While you were sleeping Tuesday night, the Yankees crept into the top spot in the American League East.
This may or may not wind up being a big deal. We know the Sox aren’t going to go pedal-to-the-metal to finish first. It hasn’t been a priority since the inception of the wild card.
What?!!! The Yankees crept into first place in the AL East! They’re a half game up on the Red Sox! Sound the alarm! This is a clear sign that the Red Sox hate winning the division! In fact, I bet Theo and his front office minions are playing around on their spreadsheets, and creating new statistics to prove winning the Wild Card is better. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you.
The Sox didn’t finish first when they won the World Series in 2004. And though they have qualified for the postseason in six of the last eight seasons, they have finished first only once in that stretch.
Shocking as it sounds, the almighty Carmine Hose have finished in sole possession of first place only once (2007) since 1995. You could say that the wild card was John Harrington’s lasting gift to this baseball town.
Oh gosh that’s funny. That’s really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. A John Harrington joke? I’ve never heard anyone make that joke about him before. Mmm. You’re the first. I’ve never heard anyone reference, um reference him negatively before. Because John Harrington was one of the forefathers of the Wild Card. And yet you’ve taken that, and used it out of context, to insult the Red Sox in this everyday situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart baseball writer you must be, to come up with a joke like that by yourself. Mmm. That’s so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we’re hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because I’m right here. God you’re so funny!
This silent mini-homestand (three games in 28 hours) will serve as a great negotiating tool for Big Papi. Ortiz has bursitis in his right heel and will be wearing the boot probably for another week. Without Ortiz, the Sox did next to nothing against James Shields, Jeff Niemann, and Price.
Damn you, Big Papi. This is all your fault. Don’t you know the Red Sox are completely incapable of scoring runs when you’re not in the lineup? Adrian Gonzalez, Dustin Pedroia, and Jacoby Ellsbury? Please. Talk about a waste of talent. They suck! The Red Sox are nothing without their 35-year old designated hitter who is probably the fifth best hitter on the team.
Francona’s lineup against Price featured Jed Lowrie batting fifth, Darnell McDonald (.167) sixth, and Crawford seventh.
A word about Crawford: Can we think of another Boston athlete who has enjoyed a longer free pass than the $142 million outfielder? Hidden beneath the sensational seasons of Messrs. Ellsbury and Gonzalez, Crawford is staggering along with a .249 batting average and a hideous on-base percentage of .285. He has 15 steals and 38 RBIs. He has walked 16 times with 74 strikeouts.
Shaughnessy makes a couple of decent points here. For starters, I can’t fathom a logical reason why Francona would EVER bat Lowrie fifth and McDonald sixth. Since Lowrie’s tremendous April, he’s produced a .206/.266/.303 triple slash line that leaves little to be desired. Once you factor in his sub-par defensive capabilities, and he’s actually been pretty brutal. McDonald, on the other hand, has been brutal all season hitting .167/.259/.333. In fact, when I saw he was hitting sixth last night, I wondered how he was even on the roster at all. He’d be a fifth outfielder or worse for the Royals or Astros.
As for Carl Crawford, it’s difficult giving him a free pass. After all, he did sign a seven year $142M contract in the offseason, and with that deal comes certain expectations. Those expectations did not include spotty defense, low stolen base totals, a 4.1% walk rate, and a 79 wRC+ on the season. Clearly, everyone expects more out of the 29 year old, four time All-Star; including the man himself. Still, it’s important to note that since his disturbingly bad April, he’s produced a much more respectable .282/.314/.432 line in 289 plate appearances since that time. His .314 OBP during that stretch is still too far below the .329 league average, so that will clearly need to be improved. Unfortunately, his poor April has affected his stats; thus clouding the perception of certain myopic baseball writers who shall remain nameless.
If anyone were paying attention, we’d be longing for the good old days of Edgar Renteria. Not once have we seen the impact outfielder who routinely terrorized the Red Sox. Yet nobody complains.
First Albert Haynesworth, and now Edgar Renteria. Why not evoke J.D. Drew‘s name, and suggest they throw batteries at him? Furthermore, it’s both unfair and inaccurate to say we haven’t seen the “impact outfielder who routinely terrorized the Red Sox.” Apparently, CHB has chosen to block the August 5-7 Yankee series where he went 9-for-12 with a couple of doubles. Or the three game stretch against Cleveland and Detroit where he went 9-for-12 with two doubles, two triples, and two homers. Or the walk off hits provided. Granted, those moments have been few and far between, but to claim we haven’t seen them is both hyperbolic and intellectually dishonest.
Boston is supposed to be a tough town for professional athletes. Not for Crawford. He is one lucky hombre.
Really? Really? Crawford hasn’t taken his licks? He hasn’t been booed? I seem to remember several instances in April where the Fenway booed him mercilessly multiple times during the game. Sure, maybe he wasn’t chastised nearly to extent that Daisuke Matsuzaka was, but a big series against the hated Yankees and a few walk off hits tend to help.
On the other hand, we have John Lackey, who has been soundly smacked around by media and fans since signing a five-year, $82.5 million deal. Lackey yesterday was tagged with his first loss since July 4 (there’s a misleading stat for you). His ERA is 6.02.
I have to admit that I’m pretty impressed he managed to go this long without mentioning Lackey. Trolls rarely get this far into an article without taking a few shots at their favorite punching bag. Lackey’s been punched around for a few reasons. One, he’s terrible with the media. Do you remember the “Whatever” press conference from a couple of months ago? I do. Two, he tends to yell at his teammates when he allows a base hit. It’s really annoying. Three, he nearly has an aneurysm any time Francona pulls him out of the game before he’s ready, which is pretty childish.
Carl Crawford, on the other hand, is a stand-up friendly guy that answers the media’s questions without sarcasm or malice. He gets a free pass a lot of times for this reason. It may not be right given his disappointing performance, but it’s the truth.
Lastly, CHB should not be able to make the W-L/run support argument as he consistently evaluates pitchers on the strength of their record.
The Lackey-or-Erik Bedard parlor game (who’s your No. 3 playoff starter?) is becoming a New England favorite. Neither pitcher did anything to stake a claim this week.
We’d like to think Lackey is a better bet because he has pitched so many playoff games, but the big fella continues to put runners on base at an alarming clip. It’s all hits and walks when Lackey is on the mound.
Yesterday, he allowed four runs on six hits, three walks, a wild pitch, and two hit batters over 6 2/3 innings. He threw 125 pitches and had one 1-2-3 inning. Lackey pitches out of the stretch more than just about anyone in baseball. Boston’s offense has enabled him to win 11 games. Not yesterday.
Anyone who thought the Lackey vs. Bedard number three playoff starter race would sort itself out after two weeks was probably being naive. While neither have pitched incredibly well, neither have performed poorly. Furthermore, we don’t think Lackey should be a better pitcher because he’s pitched so many playoff teams. We think that because he was one of the best pitchers in baseball from 2005 to 2007. During that period, he was baseball’s third most valuable pitcher (behind only Johan Santana and Brandon Webb) with 19.2 fWAR. In 2008 and 2009, he struggled a little bit with injuries to his elbow and shoulder. While there were warning signs he was on the decline, those signs could easily be dismissed as injury related outliers. As such, it’s understandable people considered him the team’s third ace upon his signing.
The Kansas City Royals should get the Sox healthy. The Royals have the second-worst pitching staff (thanks, Orioles) in the American League.
Typical Shaughnessy, pre-emptively giving credit to the Royals for waking the Red Sox offense up. While it certainly won’t hurt going up against the second worst pitching staff in the league, the Red Sox offense is historically good and can compete with any pitching staff in baseball. He needs to realize that sometimes slumps happen. It’s neither the end of the world, nor an excuse for firing up the most extreme members of Red Sox Nation.
I should probably take Evan’s advice, and cut CHB out of my life forever. Now, if only I could quit him…