#HowGame5WillEnd: A Compendium

by | Oct 28, 2013 | 2013 Boston Red Sox, Daniel Nava, John Farrell, Kolten Wong, Quintin Berry, Shelby Miller, St. Louis Cardinals, Stephen Drew, Will Middlebrooks, Yadier Molina

The Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Cardinals are tied at two games apiece in the 2013 World Series.

The first two games of the series were, by our current standards, unremarkable. The Red Sox put a beat down on St. Louis in Game One, then shot themselves in the foot in Game Two.

What’s happened since then has been, well, interesting, to say the least. Game Three ended with a walk off obstruction call against the Red Sox and Will Middlebrooks: the first in World Series history.

Then, not to be outdone by its predecessor, Game Four ended with a walk off pick off of Cardinals’ second baseman Kolten Wong: also the first in World Series history.

The second straight wild finish has sparked much debate and much interest throughout the sporting world, and perhaps nowhere more so than on Twitter, where each and every move of the World Series is predicted, analyzed, second-guessed, mocked and praised, all at the same time.

Yet out of the ashes of Games Three and Four, Twitter has given us one of its greatest gifts: the #HowGame5WillEnd hash tag.

If you missed the madness last night, I’m sure you can see where this is going. But just incase you can’t, here’s a breakdown of the best, boldest and funniest predictions Twitter had to offer for tonight’s Game Five.

What does it say about Stephen Drew’s postseason that him getting a hit seems the least likely of any of the above scenarios?

Would still leave fewer loose ends than the Lost finale.

Miller, who many assumed would be St. Louis’ second or third started headed into the postseason, has been used once this postseason. His absence has started the Shelby “Huell” Miller joke on Twitter and has puzzled baseball and Cardinals fans alike. Surprisingly, this was one of only two #HowGame5WillEnd tweets from @CespedesFamilyBBQ, which demonstrates an unusual amount of restraint on their end.

Thankfully, @TrippingOlney showed no such restraint, and this was one of 11 #HowGame5WillEnd predictions he gifted to Twitter last night. Other entries that made me chuckle? “MARK PRIOR WILL GET HURT” and “IN A TIE AND BUD SELIG WILL MAKE THE EXECUTIVE DECISION THAT FROM NEXT SEASON ON- THE WORLD SERIES COUNTS.”

Speaking of Bud …

Moving right along …

This is way, way too deep for Twitter. I’d also submit that Drew could sell his bat for a glove for Miller, who could then sell that glove for a god damn win expectancy chart for John Farrell.

Of all the semi-believalbe responses: catcher’s interference, bases loaded walk, walk off balk, etc, this one was my favorite. Let’s hope Farrell doesn’t continue to be dumbfounded by the complexities of the double-switch.

Matt Collins from our friends over at Over The Monster has a running joke about Nava’s politeness and never-ending courtesy. Every time he makes said joke, I laugh. (Click here for another example.)

Picturing Nava trying to keep up with the likes of Jonny Gomes, Mike Napoli and John Lackey during postgame celebrations is truly amazing. We need to see that awkwardness one more time this year.

Your parents are assholes, Jeremy. Don’t cancel your plan.

Perhaps this is not the most daring prediction. But it’s certainly the most likely to occur.