Oh boy, that title sure was a doozy. But oh well, it gets my point across; Giancarlo Stanton won’t be coming to Boston this off-season.

Could Cespedes be heading south? Yoenis Cespedes by Kelly O’Connor

Don’t get me wrong, I love Stanton and could spend literally all day watching replays of his home runs on youtube. But it’s just not going to happen, at least not this year.

First, take Stanton. The guy is an absolute monster when he’s on the field and I think most, if not all of you would agree with that. Heck, that’s why we want him in Boston to begin with. We’re talking probable NL MVP before an errant pitch hit him in the head. There is literally no reason for Miami to even consider moving their super star.

The Marlins somehow, without Jose Fernandez, managed to stay in the chase for much of the year, and despite the rest of their division being appalling, finished only two games short of second place in the NL East and 11 games out of the Wild Card. WOAH! 11 whole games, seems like a lot doesnt it? The Red Sox were a mind-boggling 17 games back of the Wild Card in the American League and lost six more games than the Marlins did all season.

So, issue number one: The Marlins have no desire/need/urge to ship Stanton out. Regardless of the slugger’s comments, the Miami front office has consistently reiterated a desire to retain/extend the 24-year-old. Furthermore, with two years remaining on his contract, that essentially gives Miami a two-year window to field a competitive team. Need I mention the fact that Jose Fernandez will be back next year, giving the Marlins an ace to head up their rotation of solid starters. It seems like a shock, but with the return of Stanton and Fernandez in 2015, the Marlins are probably only a few solid pieces away from real contention.

Granted, they may never actually contend in Stanton’s tenure as he alone will command a hefty chunk of Miami’s payroll. Miami may simply never have the resources to add the necessary pieces to compliment Stanton and Fernandez as well as Christian Yelich, Marcell Ozuna and Henderson Alvarez, Nathan Eovaldi and Jarred Cosart.

This sort of brings me round-about to issue two: The Red Sox have little and less to offer the Marlins in a realistic Stanton trade. I’ve heard the popular Yoenis Cespedes for Stanton ideas, though they make little sense for Miami, who, in that scenario, would be sacrificing a year of team control for a worse version of the player they already have. Other outlets have suggested swapping Mookie Betts or Xander Bogaerts for Stanton, but apparently that is a non-starter for the Red Sox’ front office. The only halfway reasonable suggestion I have seen is a package of a few prospects, like Deven Marrero and Garin Cecchini/Will Middlebrooks who may be able to post something like 3 WAR each. The problem with this proposal is that it swap a known quantity with a handful of unknowns. IF you got 3 WAR from each player, obviously the Marlins do this in a heart beat, but, chances are, few of those prospects included in the deal will live up to that ceiling.

I just dont see a deal coming together this winter. The Marlins have no conceivable reason to deal Stanton and the Sox have no real means to acquire him. In any deal the Marlins would want quality over quantity and I think it would be hard for the Red Sox to muster a package to appease them. Not to mention, dealing Stanton essentially rules Miami out of the post season chase, before the season even begins.

I feel bad crushing some people’s hopes and dreams, but it has to stop. I dont mind the fascination with the monster that is Giancarlo Stanton, but I dont think I can spend another winter listening to all manner of trade proposals. For your sake and mine, just give it a rest.