My little prospect corner of Fire Brand is taking a road trip this week, as I’m in Virginia to visit one of my college friends, and to see the Salem Red Sox High A team in person. Before I thrill everyone with a full length Mookie Betts scouting report, I watched the Red Sox last night with my friend Tripp. He’s a big baseball fan, but watches the Braves rather than the Red Sox, so I thought it would be fun to write down some of his observations.

Here’s how it went down as the Sox lost a painful 2-1 game to the Blue Jays.

“Peavy is getting these guys out with his location.”

Sort of obvious here, but no less true because of it. The scouting report on Jake Peavy when he came over from the White Sox was that he didn’t have quite the same stuff as he did in the NL, and that certainly shows up in games. Last night, though, was a good example of how tough he can be when he locates his pitches and gets ahead.

Dustin Pedroia looks like an extra from ‘Breaking Amish’ with that beard.”

Lots of beard comments from Tripp throughout the game. I’ve obviously gotten used to the hirsute style the Sox are going with this year, but apparently it’s pretty jarring when you haven’t watched them much. Most of them seem to have the beards under control, but Mike Napoli looks like he just woke up from hibernation.

“I have the distinct impression that Jonny Gomes never misses breakfast.”

I’m betting it’s the all you can eat buffet at Shoneys too. Gomes is portly, but he would be pretty far down the line in terms of roly poly Red Sox. The guy who leads that list? Rich ‘El Guapo’ Garces.


The beard? The breakfast? Jonny Gomes has it all. Photo by Kelly O'Connor

The beard? The breakfast? Jonny Gomes has it all. Photo by Kelly O’Connor


“That was a very audible F bomb from Big Papi.”

Anyone else notice that NESN needs to turn down their field microphones at times? When a player fouls a ball of their leg for example?

“Does every Red Sox fan refer to Jenny Dell as ‘Boom Boom’?”

I can’t speak for all of Red Sox Nation, but I certainly do.

Then he started to go after the Blue Jays:

“It hurts my feelings to look at Brett Lawrie’s arms.”

The tattoos just show how much he cares about the game, because he’s a gritty, gutty, hard-nosed competitor who plays the game like a football player. As you can tell, I’m a bit tired of the narrative on Brett Lawrie.

Mark Buehrle looks like the lead singer for Rascal Flatts.”

I don’t know who that is, but it made me laugh.

The game ended in total frustration for me, as the Sox only managed one run despite banging out 11 hits. Still, it was fun to watch the game with my buddy and get a fresh perspective on the Sox, even if it wasn’t the best game of the season.