The Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Cardinals are tied at two games apiece in the 2013 World Series.
The first two games of the series were, by our current standards, unremarkable. The Red Sox put a beat down on St. Louis in Game One, then shot themselves in the foot in Game Two.
What’s happened since then has been, well, interesting, to say the least. Game Three ended with a walk off obstruction call against the Red Sox and Will Middlebrooks: the first in World Series history.
Then, not to be outdone by its predecessor, Game Four ended with a walk off pick off of Cardinals’ second baseman Kolten Wong: also the first in World Series history.
The second straight wild finish has sparked much debate and much interest throughout the sporting world, and perhaps nowhere more so than on Twitter, where each and every move of the World Series is predicted, analyzed, second-guessed, mocked and praised, all at the same time.
Yet out of the ashes of Games Three and Four, Twitter has given us one of its greatest gifts: the #HowGame5WillEnd hash tag.
If you missed the madness last night, I’m sure you can see where this is going. But just incase you can’t, here’s a breakdown of the best, boldest and funniest predictions Twitter had to offer for tonight’s Game Five.
Quintin Berry caught stealing. Stephen Drew base hit. Yadier Molina catcher’s interference. Trevor Rosenthal eephus pitch. #HowGame5WillEnd
— Joe Lemire (@SI_JoeLemire) October 28, 2013
What does it say about Stephen Drew’s postseason that him getting a hit seems the least likely of any of the above scenarios?
It turns out all of the players are dead and Carlos Beltran is the Smoke Monster #HowGame5WillEnd
— Maul Boo-yé (@Phrontiersman) October 28, 2013
Would still leave fewer loose ends than the Lost finale.
Shelby Miller walk-off grand slam #HowGame5WillEnd
— CespedesFamily BBBOO (@CespedesBBQ) October 28, 2013
Miller, who many assumed would be St. Louis’ second or third started headed into the postseason, has been used once this postseason. His absence has started the Shelby “Huell” Miller joke on Twitter and has puzzled baseball and Cardinals fans alike. Surprisingly, this was one of only two #HowGame5WillEnd tweets from @CespedesFamilyBBQ, which demonstrates an unusual amount of restraint on their end.
— NOT BUSTER OLNEY (@TRIPPINGOLNEY) October 28, 2013
Thankfully, @TrippingOlney showed no such restraint, and this was one of 11 #HowGame5WillEnd predictions he gifted to Twitter last night. Other entries that made me chuckle? “MARK PRIOR WILL GET HURT” and “IN A TIE AND BUD SELIG WILL MAKE THE EXECUTIVE DECISION THAT FROM NEXT SEASON ON- THE WORLD SERIES COUNTS.”
Speaking of Bud …
Both managers have to take turns guessing What’s In Bud Selig’s Pocket? #HowGame5WillEnd
— Bob Cradock (@cradock) October 28, 2013
Moving right along …
Gomes cuts his beard to buy Wainwright a watch chain. Wainwright sells his watch to buy Gomes a comb for his beard. #HowGame5WillEnd
— Matthew Leach (@MatthewHLeach) October 28, 2013
This is way, way too deep for Twitter. I’d also submit that Drew could sell his bat for a glove for Miller, who could then sell that glove for a god damn win expectancy chart for John Farrell.
Oops, batting out of turn #howgame5willend
— Steph (@stephapstein) October 28, 2013
Of all the semi-believalbe responses: catcher’s interference, bases loaded walk, walk off balk, etc, this one was my favorite. Let’s hope Farrell doesn’t continue to be dumbfounded by the complexities of the double-switch.
Daniel Nava starts a single-file line out of the stadium #HowGame5WillEnd
— Matt Collins (@RedSox_Thoughts) October 28, 2013
Matt Collins from our friends over at Over The Monster has a running joke about Nava’s politeness and never-ending courtesy. Every time he makes said joke, I laugh. (Click here for another example.)
Picturing Nava trying to keep up with the likes of Jonny Gomes, Mike Napoli and John Lackey during postgame celebrations is truly amazing. We need to see that awkwardness one more time this year.
Jeremy caught #HowGame5WillEnd
— Sam Miller (@SamMillerBP) October 28, 2013
Your parents are assholes, Jeremy. Don’t cancel your plan.
A bad joke on twitter. #HowGame5WillEnd
— Matthew Kory (@mattymatty2000) October 28, 2013
Perhaps this is not the most daring prediction. But it’s certainly the most likely to occur.